Spring 2012: What to Wear

[insert obligatory acknowledgement of lack of posts here]

My school is on Spring Break, and it's astonishing! The first few weeks of spring, that transition between the electric chills of Winter and the new beginnings of Spring, are the most exhilarating time of the year I think. You know what's also weird? The realization that I only have 2.5 more months of high school to go. Ridiculous!

To answer the never-ending question of "how's the college thing going?" - it's "going," is really all I can say. My early decision application to Brown got deferred, so I'm waiting to hear back from them and the other private colleges I applied to (NYU, GW, Pomona, Scripps), which should happen by or on April 1st. The first schools I'll hear from are UC Berkeley and UCLA, which should come out toward the end of Spring Break - and I am just ambivalent about it at this point. I'm excited because I'll finally at least have a definite yes/no answer. Believe you me - seeing the majority of my friends get either accepted early action/decision or accepted by schools that notify earlier makes me happy for them, but does nothing to satiate my need to get out of this purgatory that Brown put me in ;). Seeing people get into their top choices of schools like Stanford, Princeton, and Georgetown only adds to the inferiority complex! But enough of my whining.

My pace of life has kind of relaxed over the past two months, which is really pretty delightful. I've had pretty much the same amount of coursework but I've gotten a lot better at pacing myself, and while I still can't really say I have much of a life outside of school, I have been spending a lot of my free periods out in downtown Monterey either having food adventures with Claire and Gabby or just walking around by myself.

I've also gotten really into thrifting. More and more, I've been getting more financially conscious and realizing how much money I tend to spend on clothes.... thrifting helps stem the cash flow out of my wallet ;)
I've also finally gotten to the point where I actually have too many clothes in my closet (what?!?!) - although idk that I can ever say I'll stop buying clothes - I just love them too much for that!

If I had an unlimited wardrobe, this is what I would ideally be wearing (almost exclusively, ngl) this spring:

Lately I've been really into neutral and pastel colors. This generally muted color scheme seems so fresh for spring, I love it! Oversized sweaters are perfectly appropriate substitutes for jackets - and they're oh so simultaneously, ironically, hipster chic and utilitarian. While I've yet to add any sheer shirts into my wardrobe, I've been really lusting over them - depending on their design, they can be both provocative and put together. Now, while I can't pull of maxi skirts without wearing heels, I've been really obsessed with them! Flowy ones with pleat-like drapes in light or sheer materials like chiffon are fantastically ethereal and feminine. All of these pieces put together are romantic, flattering, and generally just pretty.

Now if it's in to wear subtly complimentary clothes, their perfect counterparts are eye-catching accessories.

Floppy felt hats seem most appropriate for winter, but they can also provide a shield from the sun and needed warmth on chilly days (both are really common around these parts). Structured bags provide a nice contrast to the looser silhouette of the above mentioned clothes. Actually, the blue bag pictured is my latest purchase! I was hoping to use it as my schoolbag (b/c my old one just went caput), but the buckle thing might take too long to fiddle with for it to be a pragmatic choice for high school.... probably just use it for the weekends and maybe in college. Friendship bracelets take a new twist with the new trend of weaving string/leather with chains, and I love the casual-cool feel you get when layering them - definitely going to be one of my next DIY projects! Now, I was first turned on to the cap-toed shoe trend after seeing the yellow-capped Calvin Klein flats pictured, but the black Target ones pictured above seem like a good alternative that I'm strongly debating going for.

So yeah, the picture on the left is what I wore on Valentine's Day... kind of an amalgamation of all the above trends I would love to wear more often. The chunky knit sweater was thrifted for $9 (a great deal for one that I can tell was hand knit!) and the flowy skirt is a BCBG one that Claire gave me. I wore it with a chambray shirt (stolen from mother... I think it came from Kmart way back when?), lavender tights from F21, simple black flats from Target, and bright red lipstain - sassy and wonderful, if I must say so myself.

So yup, that's my fashion roundup for you. I'm gonna go back to having that Freaks and Geeks marathon with myself and maybe, possibly, get some real sleep [what a novel concept!].

-K

like a tree breathing through its spectacles

Has it really been three months since I last got to post here? That is just truly ridiculous, and I apologize... although I can't necessarily say I'm totally apologetic about it. This past semester has truly been the busiest time of my life - and possibly the most fulfilling as well.

So many changes have happened that I'm not really sure where to begin. I guess the top two things to note are that (a) my family is hosting a Chinese exchange student, Angel (more on this later hopefully) and (b) I'm nearing the end of the college application process (was deferred during the early application round from my first choice college [which has changed since the last time I posted about college on this blog]).

I feel like I've been pushed to my limits physically, academically, and especially emotionally (weird, right?) in the past couple of months. However, it's been great in that along the way, I've also just grown a lot as a person and learned a lot about myself as well as my relationships with friends and family. I've learned to both take things at face value and not take things for granted.

Mostly I'm just really thankful for what this year has brought me. I have an incredibly large inferiority complex and often feel utterly inadequate, but it's astounding to simply step back and look at what I've been given - I am so lucky to be where I am right now, and I know that things will turn out well even if they don't go exactly as planned (life works in mysterious ways, after all).

I just want to acknowledge the fact that the above writing has given about zero interesting anecdotes from my life, but at this point it's been so long since I've updated that realistically, logging everything interesting that's happened to me in the past few months is just not a feasible task. Forgive me!

So anyway, I rather enjoyed today. After waking up after spending the morning in a field of dreams, I went ice skating with Cindy and Angel for an hour or so. After we got back home, I finished flipping through the Collected Poems of Frank O'Hara (who has recently become my favorite author - his poems are so breezy and accessible but still fantastically reflective of life itself). Then later this night we had a little party where we wrapped the gifts we had yet to wrap for friends. I think Christmas was quite lovely, despite the fact that it's not at all a big deal for our family.

Just want to leave this post with this video of me reciting O'Hara's "Having A Coke With You" which I recorded this afternoon. I'm a little bit obsessed with this piece, and even wrote about it in one of my college supplements ;)
My reading is essentially based off of O'Hara's own reading, which feels pretty much perfect. The poem itself feels pretty perfect to me, actually.



I've never been in love, but I'm willing to bet that this poem is what it feels like.

Thanks for being here, blog lovelies. I miss you.
-K

inflections and impermanence

空の向こう越える為のこの人生の抑揚 - 嵐, 『Believe』

[to overcome what's beyond the skies, the inflections of this human life - Arashi, "Believe"]

I can't believe it's been ten years.

When I first heard about the crash on the Twin Towers, I was eating a bowl of cereal and watching the morning news. Nobody I knew was directly affected by the attack. I remember the myriad television segments covering, adults around me explaining that something incredibly sad and terrible had happened, and our school holding a penny donation drive for the Red Cross 9/11 victim's fund. We were told to be proud of our nation under God, that we would stand strong against the terrorists endangering us, and that we should be thankful for the lives we were blessed with. In the midst of adversity, we cried collective tears of red, white and blue.

I mostly remember not understanding. We were bombarded in this haze of images showing grief, destruction, pain - but none of it registered as "real" to me.  I was 7 years old. The world revolved around me, and I couldn't fathom why people were making such a big deal out of these buildings which I had genuinely never heard of before that morning.

Ten years later, I get it. I get the sheer worry and pain and terror that these victims and their families experienced, and I'm taken aback by how anybody could willingly destroy so many lives. And while I admit I don't know what to think regarding these conspiracy theories, terrorism, and who to blame for this blow to the American psyche, I respect the bravery of the citizens who attempted to rescue people from the destruction. I admire the passengers of Flight 93, am thankful that there are servicemen who put their lives on the line for other people, and hope that the people forced to a tragic end now rest in peace. My thoughts in particular go out to relatives of the deceased as well as survivors of this ordeal - I hope by this time they've all found some sort of solace and closure to this dark chapter of American history.

This past spring break on my trip to New York, I visited the National September 11 Museum and was reminded of how deeply this attack on our national symbols affected the American people. But mostly I found myself proud that while we haven't forgotten, we've moved on in honor of the people lost. In the aftermath of a tragedy, we pick up the pieces, rebuild, and become a stronger people - a stronger nation. This state of impermanence, existence's constant state of flux, is a reminder that while we may suffer misfortunes, better times will inevitably come.

Today we remember the ordeal, grieve for the victims, and in their honor our stars and stripes fly half mast. Today, we are reminded of the dangers life as a human entails. We are reminded that while some people will cause hardship, it we can be the better people, we can be strong, we can rebuild, we can carry on.  Most importantly, we are reminded of how beautiful our world can be.

Michelle Obama says "we recall the spirit of unity and compassion that bound us all during that time. We remember the heroes that rose up, the neighbors who reached out, and those countless moments when the ties of family community and country felt stronger than ever. That is the spirit behind the September 11th National Day of Service and Remembrance. It's a day to honor our heroes with thoughts and prayers, but also with action."



I've already spent time volunteering this weekend and cannot commit to doing more today, but I hope you lovely readers are inspired to do some sort of service for our country not only today, but over the rest of the year as well. We can all step up to the challenge.

-K

notes from my summer

I. Summer Intensive Language Program, AKA what I pretentiously like to call Grad School

From Monday to Friday I have Japanese class from 9-12, Lunch/people watching for an hour, then class again from 1-2:30. I'm a third of the way through the course, and we finish on August 10th - which coincidentally should also be my first day of Senior Year. Oh well, although I'll be missing that first day, I think it'll be worth it - I sometimes enjoy hanging out with my college buddies more than most of my high school, no offense to those of you who're reading this now... ;)

 いま, にほんごをはなします! Well... sort of. We just learned how to do past tense, and I still have a lot of trouble with particles and am sure I have a long, *long* way to go... but still, I now know a lot more than the simple "にほんごがわかりません" from the beginning of this summer.

The Japanese program at my school is one of the smallest of all the languages - there are only 5 people in my Elementary level class, and 11 people in all three levels! One is a student of the school, working towards his MBA, one is this nice Russian girl who graduated from UNM awhile back, one is a retired lawyer, and another is this guy who actually was on the last season of Beauty and the Geek! An eclectic bunch, we are. 

After school I like to walk downtown and grab a Jamba Juice or Mocha (depending on the weather), find a table outside, and sit down and do homework or read. Sometimes I even go on strolls down to the wharf and grab some cotton candy or clam chowder. Previously I felt like a loner doing stuff like this on my own, but lately I've embraced this sort of introspection and sort of enjoy recharging on my own, so to speak.

I've kicked the fear of going to movies alone and have actually gained a taste for walking downtown to the theater and catching a movie after school every once in awhile. The other day I had a meeting to go to but had a few hours to kill beforehand, so after I got bored of studying I caught a showing of The Tree Of Life - a movie I found visually gorgeous but generally pretentious and overall a mess. I really came in wanting to enjoy it and stuff... but came out having had a short nap (fell asleep around two hours into the movie I think) and having become disillusioned with the melodramatic soundtrack and unnecessarily long/almost ostentatious beginning-of-the-universe sequences. Sorry Terrence Malick, try again.

II. Gavin DeGraw!!!
A dream I've had ever since his album Chariot (Stripped) came out back in 2004 has been to see him live - you have no idea how big of his fan I used to be... and while I feel like a lot of his luster has been lost, and as much as I feel his voice no longer fits the pop scene (not that it ever did - his voice is so soulful and powerful and outstanding that he absolutely should do his own thing), I was so ecstatic to get the chance to see him back in June.
He sang a short setlist (after all, this was a free show that was mostly just for promotional purposes - his new album, Sweeter, comes out in August) which included old favorites and a few covers of old songs from guys like Sam Cooke. He sounds absolutely amazing live, and I feel so honored to have gotten to see him. His stage presence is just so powerful (as well as his backup singer/guitarist's, Billy Norris), and you can really tell he cares about his music and his audience. Here's a clip of him singing "Chariot," which used to be my favorite song:



You can hear me singing (badly) along near the end of the video. Sorry the beginning of the song is cut off, I was freaking out from excitement when he started and didn't think of recording it for a few moments. The video's so shaky because the excitement really just made me generally incoherent. Even now I'm smiling like a maniac and sound stupid. You get the point.

If you haven't heard his new song "Not Over You," take a listen! Not his best work but a good effort for trying to break into the pop scene again. You can really hear the Ryan Tedder influence in this one.


III. Summer Must Haves

1. Barrettes
I will make these happen, just you watch.

2. Light layers
Chambray shirts, striped tees, different cardigans, and various skirts:

3. A good playlist, filled to the brim with catchy, bubbly, stupid pop music that you're ashamed to listen to any other time of the year. 
On mine:

[click for larger]

4. Nail polish! 
My most recent:

5. Sleep
Enough said.

6. Movies, Candy, Popcorn
I finally set up the old TV (It's from the 80's and has wood paneling and is held together by tape at some parts - so cool!) I had lying around in my room and hooked it up to a DVD player - so my room has been the ultimate veg-out-and-watch-terrible-movies center. Some movies I've watched (in no particular order):

As you can see I have a penchant for teen movies, teen movies directed by John Hughes, teen movies directed by John Hughes starring Molly Ringwald, and Christian Bale's naked body.

I like to go for short mile runs, quit because it's too hot and I'm out of shape, come home and shower, put on a mask like this one, and then turn on a movie and chill. Feels so summery and fantastic.

7. ALIAS!
Easily one of the most clever shows I've ever watched. I've been hooked all summer (originally mostly because I had/have a huge crush on Bradley Cooper, but now because the show really is just fantastic). Right now I'm a few episodes into Season 5, and am simultaneously excited and sort of anxious about finishing the series.




J.J. Abrams can do no wrong.

8. COLLEGE
As much as I love summer and the freedom it brings, there is no avoiding the specter is College, whose applications I will soon have to start writing up. However I realized that there is no way I can humanely find the time and motivation to write essays for applications and scholarships, study enough to raise my ACT and SAT scores, and research colleges during my free time. Did I tell you about how I did a practice Math Level 2 test and scored a 540? Yeah pretty much it's hopeless. Bleh.

9. Fire, Water, Friends!
I've only gone to the beach once this summer (for a bonfire with friends) but it was really fun. I can't wait for the pool party at Nisha's tonight, we're going to hopefully light up the BBQ, splash around in her pool, and maybe even light a few sparklers :)

10. Sunshine?
It's a known fact that my mood improves as the sun comes out. Unfortunately for me, the sun only comes out for about half of the time - but when it does, I make damn sure to enjoy it while I can.

I LOVE YOU, SUMMER. PLEASE NEVER END.
-K

it's on.

First off I'd like to say how weird it is that (a) I'm a rising senior, and (b) it's actually time to start working on college apps. For as long as I can remember, my parents have been giving me talks about how important it is to go to a good college like Stanford or Harvard (yes, I *do* have Tiger Parents. Although luckily for me, (a) they didn't force me to learn any instruments and (b) I was/am allowed to to theater/go to sleepovers/parties). It sounds a little pathetic to admit it, but to me it really does feel like the one thing I've looked forward to all of my life is getting into college, and now that the time is so near... I'm definitely a little overwhelmed.

Nevertheless I'm slowly getting over that stage of disbelief and am "getting my head in the game," so to speak. My SAT score was mediocre (had close to perfect on Writing, but CR and M were both far from what I hoped) and SAT-IIs were horrendous (we'll see how I did on APs in July, I suppose), so my faith in my standardized test taking skills is definitely greatly diminished. However, I'm going to do my best on the ACT which'll be in a few days, and will definitely be spending all summer trying to teach myself to do the questions on the Math-II subject test properly. Princeton Review, Kaplan, Barrons, REA - Don't fail me now.

Even if I do do horribly on all of them, my extracurriculars and awards (can list them all but it feels pretentious and I doubt you guys are very interested anyway) sort of make up for it. While there's nothing I'm particularly outstanding in, I am pretty good at everything so.... [shrug]
I feel like I can probably relatively easily get into 99% of colleges in the US... it's just the other 1% of them that I actually want to go to which are the challenge ;)

Anyway, what I'm actually here to talk about is the trip that my family and I had the privilege to take during Spring Break. We visited Columbia, Barnard, Sarah Lawrence, NYU, Princeton, Wesleyan, Yale, Harvard, BU, and Brown; we spent possibly more time in the car than anywhere else; my family spent lots of time sightseeing while I spent lots of time listening to the same information sessions over and over again; and I fell head over heels in love with New York City. I know that someday I'll live there - I would say in Manhattan but it's so damn expensive everywhere there, and I would say Brooklyn but it's so HIPSTER, so I don't know exactly where or how the move will go, but I'm still excited for when it happens.

Take note that many of them were probably influenced by the fact that the school was on Spring Break so I didn't get the chance to see students in action, but nevertheless below are my impressions of the school:

Columbia University: This was, before the trip, the school I expected to be my top choice. The pamphlet was beautiful and my personal hero from US History, Alexander Hamilton, went there. The core curriculum really appeals to me, and I love the location of the campus. However, the campus itself seemed so bleak and the students so tired that I didn't really know what to think except that I couldn't see myself going there.

Barnard College: I actually liked the Barnard campus more than Columbia's, even though Barnard isn't quite as large a name as Columbia is. However I'm not a fan of the idea of going to an all-girl's school (however empowering they supposedly are), and once again I couldn't really see myself going to this school.

Sarah Lawrence College: Before this trip my college counselor really pushed this school on me, and after visiting I understood why: It really is my kind of college: quaint campus, vibrant students, interesting people. I definitely can see a person like myself going there. However, again I'm not comfortable with going to a mostly-girls school (as much as I love sassy gay friends, I want to have *guys* to hang out with). I also hate that it's so close to the city, yet so far; that it's so expensive (and sort of pretentious); that the curriculum is too loose-ended for my taste and that classes work somewhere along the lines of "read the material, then come to the class and show the professor that you read it instead of the professor teaching the material him/herself." So as much as I love that they have a stitch and bitch club held in a multipurpose room with yellow walls, that they have "dons" and such a supportive community, and that the info session guy talked about his his different boyfriends including the gay Jewish one. But to be honest I need a little more structure in my life, and it doesn't look like Sarah Lawrence cannot give me that structure.

New York University: I LOVE NYU. SO MUCH. I AM MEANT TO GO TO THIS SCHOOL. For real. Before my visit, I knew I'd like it, but after my visit I was sure that I want to go to this school. I love that it's in the heart of this conglomerate of world culture; I love that it's so urban; I love that there are so many students that you're bound to introduce yourself to diversity (in fact, I *really* love that the diversity of its student body reflects the diversity of the city itself); I love that it has such a fabulous study abroad program (and am really seriously considering applying for the Global Liberal Studies program); I love that internship options are so limitless; I love my sassy tourguide; I love how it doesn't have a traditional campus and by not having a gated community, students aren't "closing theirselves off from the world," so to say; I love practically everything about this school - except its financial aid program. Luckily my parents are in a relatively stable financial situation, so we can afford to send me here but... if I can get into a more highly ranked college for less, I'll probably end up choosing that one over NYU (granted, if I can get a merit scholarship here I will go. No question about it). I also feel like school spirit is something that I'm looking for in a college, and considering that athletics aren't really a large part of this school and the campus/students are so scattered about, that won't really be something that NYU can give me. However, the feeling of "I seriously belong here" is something I really feel in my bones, and I wonder if I do end up going somewhere else if I'll regret doing so.

Princeton University: Too pretentious. This school was my both of my parents' favorite, but my least favorite. Sorry Princeton, you're not for me.

Wesleyan University: Out in the middle of nowhere. As attractive as my tour guide was (British exchange student with attractive cool edgy haircut? Yes please!), I just.... can't.

Yale University: Feels like Hogwarts. I would love to go to this school, although I can't see myself going here as much as I can see myself going to Brown (see below). Anyway, I love that it doesn't have a gate surrounding the campus (something I realized was a big thing for me, after visiting NYU); I love the idea of "shopping" through classes before finalizing a schedule; I love how high caliber its faculty and students are. Again I have issues with how expensive it is, but my parents would have less issues paying for an Ivy League than they would with paying for NYU - to be honest, prestige is a *huge* factor for my family (although not me personally), and Yale definitely fulfills those requirements - It's just getting in that's the hard part.

Harvard University: WAY too pretentious. The sense of entitlement emanating from the walls just was not something I could handle. Not going to happen. Ever.

Boston University: We didn't actually go on a tour or sit through an information session because they didn't offer any the day we were there, but the campus seemed... okay. Really large, but I can handle large. I don't really know what to think about this college, but I'm not knocking it off my list because I hear they offer full ride scholarships to classics scholars... which is definitely incentive for me to consider going there.

Tufts University: Okay, I didn't take the chance to visit there and I really regret it now. After flipping through their guidebook, it seems like a fantastic place to go. I'll probably have a talk with one of the graduates from my school who's going there (same with pretty much everywhere on this list - there's definitely a York graduate who goes to every single one on this list except Barnard).

Brown University: Maybe it has to do with the fact that it's been ranked the #2 school with the happiest students, maybe it has a very chill almost Montessori like yet collegiate vibe, and maybe it just has to do with the fact that it was the only college that wasn't on Spring Break when we visited - but I can really see myself going here. I like that it has requirements, but the curriculum is essentially really open ended. I love that you can shop around for classes at the beginning of the semester, like at Yale. I love the campus, and I love that it's in an urban setting (even though there's technically nothing really to do in Providence. This is my one main issue with all of the schools on this list except NYU: They're not in NYC). Most of all though, I just love the vibe of this school, how liberal and chill and vibrant it is, and how nice the people are (when we were looking for the visitor center and asked a student, not only did she point it out but she walked with us half of the way there!). In essence, Brown is definitely one of my top choices. Again money is a big issue but if I can get outside scholarships (and can get in in the first place) I'm strongly considering going here.

So yeah, that was my long, long ramble about colleges. I've yet to visit colleges on the West coast (Stanford, UC Berkeley, UCSC, USC, and Reed are ones I think I might like / Also: UChicago and GWU are on my mind) so that will happen eventually and I'll report back here with my thoughts.

For now, I'll leave with some pictures:

Delicious Margherita Pizza from some restaurant in Morningside Heights

Fries! :)

The famous New York hot-dog-from-a-cart

Brooklyn Bridge! My APUSH teacher would be proud.

Grand Central Station

At the New York Public Library! My life is complete.

Times Square! So. Many. Lights.

At the most delicious steakhouse I've ever been to: Texas Roadhouse, West Haven CT.

Apparently the creator of the Yale Library set it on fire + poured acid on it to make it look older? Lol.

UNNECESSARY APOSTROPHE. GRRRR. D:<

I definitely had a blast on this trip (my first to the East Coast!), and can't wait to go again. For now, going to attempt to at least try to enjoy my time stuck on the opposite side of the country ;p

-K